If memory serves, this is film was a perfect time capsule of the way the world was in 1999. Like Stacy Keach, I too was wearing Halloween store novelty contact lenses and a white Rat-Tail/Mullet mashup haircut. Kids were going nuts for milk and bananas, and nearly my entire graduating class was murdered by malfunctioning robot teachers. So, put on your Pam Grier wig, take a hit of Edge, and join Matt, Tristan and returning guest Damian Maffei for the starkly realistic look at the Seattle educational system of twenty years ago that is Class of 1999. 

More Episodes

Fun Box Monster Podcast #36 Hello Mary Lou : Prom Night 2 (1987)

July 3, 2019

If you put Carrie, The Exorcist, Nightmare on Elm Street, and Degrassi Jr. High into a blender, the film smoothie that you'd pour out would look suspiciously like Prom Night 2. When Michael Ironsides accidentally kills his horrid, abusive girlfriend with a stink bomb, her soul gets trapped in a piece of luggage. Twenty-fiveish years later, a plain-Jane blonde girl named Vicky, with an abusive uptight religious mother (and father who is only there to repel any copyright claims from Stephen King), finds said soul-trunk and opens it, freeing fifties bad-girl/burn victim, Mary Lou. Mary Lou's ghost keeps swiping at poor Vicky and missing, like a monster in an Abbot and Costello film, until she finally drowns her in a chalkboard, taking over her body. Once she's in there, it's nothing but fifties style heavy-petting and prom preparations. Oh, also, murder. Will Vicky be spared? Will she get to keep her prom sash? Will the principal of this school face any consequences for shooting one of the children in front of an entire auditorium full of witnesses? Join Matt and Tristan as they walk nude through the Canadian locker room of 1987's Canuxploitation classic, Hello Mary Lou : Prom Night 2. 

Fun Box Monster Podcast #35 C.H.U.D. (1984)

June 19, 2019

When the sewers of New York start overflowing with nuclear mutant monsters, you can count on Kevin's dad from Home Alone and one of the Wet Bandits to beat them back. Is CHUD a ham-fisted environmental allegory? A throwback fifties sci-fi homage? Is it perhaps not the best movie to talk about on a podcast because it's all just super theatrical dialog? Maybe it's all of these!

You'll scream as a photographer turns down any opportunity to make money, and whines like a five year old when he's forced to do a couple of hours of actual photography. You'll despair when you hear the subplot about the girlfriend's pregnancy go nowhere! You'll cry when you hear the tight 45 seconds of CHUD jokes that Matt has prepared for the end of the episode! Be prepared for a rough journey, as Matt and Tristan embark on the late night poodle-walk that is, CHUD. 

fun Box Monster Podcast #34 Trick or Treat (1986)

June 12, 2019

Knock, knock, knocking for a sweet surprise...it's a Trick or Treat. Hell, yeah it is. Shock-Rocker Sammy Curr died in a hotel fire. Now, with the help of Ragman AKA Skippy from Family Ties and Ragman's gross disregard for the operator manual that came with his turntable, he's coming back for revenge on everybody that (file not found). You've got possessed cars, possessed stereos, and possessed headphones. You've got Ozzy as a preacher, Gene Simmons as Wolfman Jack, and a very talented gymnast/ballet dancer as the avatar of true metal. This is probably my top contender for best metal-horror hybrid of the eighties. So put on your most ridiculous bandanna and strap on your haunted headphones as we kick out the jams on a very special episode of The Fun Box Monster Podcast!

Fun Box Monster Podcast #33 C.H.U.D. II : Bud The Chud (1989)

June 5, 2019

Here it is. The sequel to the gritty New York City monster movie, known for it's incredible iconic locations and unforgettable monster design. In a move that may seem odd, they decide to ditch NYC and go to the suburbs. Then ditch the cool glowing-eyed slime monster costumes in favor of some light cheek shading and some shark teeth. And finally, ditch the concept of plot and dialogue in favor of something that can only be referred to as, CHUD 2.  Chud 2 is the answer to the question, "What if Nick at Night made a horror movie?" Matt Loves this one unapologetically. While I...remain mildly skeptical. Join us as we bite into the genetically mutated toy poodle that is, CHUD 2 : Bud the CHUD. 

Fun Box Monster Podcast #32 The Prophecy (1979) W/ Guest Damian Maffei

May 30, 2019

Matt and Tristan are joined by star of stage and screen, Damian Maffei (who you may know as the Man in the Mask from Strangers : Prey at Night) to discuss the Maine based eco-horror classic, The Prophecy. The Prophecy is the story of how New Yorkers shouldn't have babies, and paper plants shouldn't make mutants. There's at least one Mambo King in this movie, and an actress from Ernest Goes to Camp. Also, that lady from Rocky. So cook yourself up a nice plate of mutant-fish and pour yourself a nice glass of Mercury, as Tristan, Matt and Damian are mauled by the melted bear that is The Prophesy. 

Fun Box Monster Podcast #31 House Where Evil Dwells (1982)

May 23, 2019

  When a weird dude with a mustache brings his family to Japan to (write an article for a magazine maybe?) he moves them into a haunted house where he proceeds to cosplay as a samurai, a karate instructor, a business casual samurai, and a Trappist Monk. To his family's dismay, the house is haunted by a love triangle murder suicide from the 1800's. Also, some ghost crabs that speak spooky Japanese. The (non-crab) ghosts proceed to possess the family members in an attempt to recreate the circumstances of their death, for reasons that only ghosts may know. Things go south from there. Join Matt and Tristan as they put on their silk bandannas and ring the doorbell of The House Where Evil Dwells. 

Fun Box Monster Podcast #30 Deadly Friend (1986)

May 15, 2019

When the smartest robotics engineer at brain college loses both his robot Beebee and girlfriend in one week, he goes full Herbert West and uses his robot's brain to reanimate his dead girlfriend. She lives in his shed while exacting revenge on everybody in the neighborhood that looked at her sideways. (Also, being Wes Craven's movie, they found a few creative ways to put a furnace and a burned faced dream guy into some scenes) Matt and Tristan shape our hands into robot claws, put on some fetching blue eye-shadow, and run headlong into the barrel of missed opportunities that is, Deadly Friend. 

Fun Box Monster Podcast #29 Ninja III The Domination (1984)

May 8, 2019

If you're like me, and I mostly am, the eighties mean one thing to you. Ninjas. Those silky suited little dickenses were everywhere. True story, I once left a dorm on my college campus and there was a ninja just hanging out in a tree. 8am on a weekday. Just sitting there. Why? Fucked if I know. There was no reason. Like this movie. Why would you make a ninja movie about a possessed phone company line person who moonlights as an aerobics instructor? You wouldn't. It shouldn't be done. But dammit, I'm mighty glad it was. Join Matt and Tristan as they follow the floating sword through one of the weirdest movies of the eighties, Ninja 3 : The Domination. 

Fun Box Monster Podcast #28 Slumber Party Massacre 2 (1987)

May 1, 2019

Nothing ruins a slumber party like a rockabilly (ghost?) with a drill guitar, murdering your friends while singing and dancing like he's in an unlicensed knock-off production of Grease. But, it does make for compelling cinema. Join Tristan and Matt as they buzz their way through the singingest, dancingest, slasher film of the eighties, Slumber Party Massacre 2.