Get ready for this summer's hottest new video game! YOU play the role of Satan's Little Helper, an incredibly stupid child who's feigned inability to distinguish fantasy from reality will probably get him off the hook for all the atrocities that he will soon take part in! Rack up the points by killing boyfriends, poisoning BMX ninjas, and marrying your sister! Be sure to look out for the shopping cart upgrade! Now you're playing with power! 

So grab your best painting cat, a few rolls of packing tape, and a pastry crimper for some reason(?) and join Matt and Tristan on a Halloween murder spree that will leave you with numb thumb of the brain, Satan's Little Helper. 

More Episodes

Fun Box Monster Podcast #120 Halloween 4: The Return Of Michael Myers

October 8, 2021

Little Jamie has always hated Halloween. No matter how much her adopted family tries to ply her with multiple scooped ice cream, she won't budge on the matter. She's simply too busy with her schoolwork and photo collecting to think about Halloween.  Rachel is seventeen year old about to give up on love. When a surprise visit from Jamie's unconventional uncle sets the family on their toes, he changes the way little Jamie looks at Halloween forever, and sets Rachel on a collision course with love among the pumpkins.  Join Matt and Tristan for a story of love, loss, and having your brain gouged by a maniac's huge thumb. 

Fun Box Monster Podcast #119 Mirror Mirror (1990)

October 1, 2021

Stay with me here. There's this mirror, right? It's got a demon in it. The witches of Salem used to use it, but literally all it does is seduce people and ruin their lives. It doesn't explicitly grant wishes, but clearly there's a wishing element. You can't ask it for stuff or bad things happen. You certainly shouldn't have sex with the demon that lives in it. That's a big no-no.

Our story begins when a copyright infringing version of Lydia Deetz from Beetlejuice moves into a house that's haunted by a demonic mirror. Her mom has two shitty dogs, and some severe psychological issues resulting from her husband's unexpected death. She and the Tim Burton lawsuit child are drifting apart. Copyright infringing Lydia enrolls in what looks to be a BILLION DOLLAR SCHOOL. In between classes in water polo, tennis and money fights she gets bullied, sexes up a mirror demon and then goes full on Carrie on the school. (Mostly on the only people who actually care about her.) It all ends with a very blue house full of blowing paper. 

So get ready for dead dogs, Karen Black, some by-the-numbers kills, and join Matt and Tristan for one of the better low budget Carrie rip-offs, Mirror Mirror. 

 

Fun Box Monster Podcast #118 Mortuary (1983)

September 17, 2021

Honestly, any attempt to describe this movie would be pointless. You have to see it. Yes. It is very slow. But, Bill Paxton is in it.

Sure, it centers around a bunch of obnoxious rich kids who are also very stupid. Counterpoint: Bill Paxton.

It would further be correct to point out that if given any small amount of scrutiny the plot completely falls apart. To that I would say... Bill Paxton.

So join Matt and Tristan as they talk about the most Bill Paxton horror movie allowed without a prescription, Mortuary. 

Fun Box Monster Podcast #117 Just Before Dawn (1981)

September 10, 2021

Sometimes when you make a funny podcast about schlocky movies, you run across a movie that is...kinda perfect? Maybe the most underrated slasher ever? I mean there's some silly stuff...a guy does pull a hundred pound fish out of the water as part of his wooing of a lady. That was fun. But goddammit, this movie ruled. Sorry I'm so late to the party on this. Join Matt and Tristan as they have very little to complain about in a movie that I still can't believe I had never seen until now, Just Before Dawn. Also, I just quit caffeine, so yeah. My brain isn't firing on all cylinders for this one.  

Fun Box Monster Podcast #116 : Rush Week (1989)

September 3, 2021

Hail, hail to the college days with the Fun Box Podcast. This week we're talking 1989's Rush Week. When a young journalism student notices co-eds vanishing, she becomes determined to unmask the killer, but long the way, I think she's going to unmask some laughs too. It's a collegiate-who-done-it Mcguffin fest from start to finish, but things get complicated when she falls for the WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD and starts hanging with his friends THE OTHER WORST PEOPLE IN THE WORLD who are the heroes. This movie is like Animal House, if Delta Tau Chi was entirely populated by with criminal sociopaths. So grab your human cadaver, a big plate of spaghetti, and set your VCR to double secret probation for the all but forgotten eighties frat-horror, Rush Week. 

Fun Box Monster Podcast #115 Cheerleader Camp (1988)

August 21, 2021

You ever have one of those dreams where you're at Cheerleader Camp wearing an alligator mascot costume and people are getting murdered all around you? Plus, for some reason seventies teen sensation Leif Garret is there? And that big guy from Roadhouse is filming everyone and committing crimes that everyone just finds charming? Yeah. I think I ate some bad clams. Anyway,  join Matt and Tristan as they talk about the greatest hip-hop film since House Party 2, Cheerleader Camp. (Ps. This is not a Pajama Jammy-Jam.) 

The Fun Box Monster Podcast #114 : Beyond The Door 3 / AKA : Amok Train (1989)

August 13, 2021

A young student named Beverly has been given the opportunity of a lifetime. She's being invited to hang out in the woods of Serbia with classmates who absolutely loathe her and bully her ever chance they get. Once there she gets to sleep in a shack with no walls, and learn about her own heritage...which she clearly despises, plus she's going to marry the devil!  All for only eight hundred bucks!?! 

Unfortunately things take a turn for the worse when the entire town turns out to be comprised of satanic cultists, who try to burn all of her non-friends alive, driving them into the woods and subsequently onto...a DEVIL TRAIN. 

Put on your sexiest flute outfit, put on your "Beverly's Birthmark" pin, and join Matt and Tristan for the little engine that could...MURDER,  Beyond the Door 3, AKA : AMOK TRAIN!

Fun Box Monster Podcast #113 : The Hidden (1987)

August 6, 2021

A body-switching, heavy-metal-loving, Ferrari-stealing, serial-killer-alien is running wild in LA, and the only thing that can stop him is Kyle Mclaughlin. If you are a Hollywood executive and someone gives you this pitch... if you hesitate for even a second, you should be fired on the spot and removed from the entertainment industry forever. Grab a boombox, a pocket full of stolen IRS Records Tapes, and your dufflebag full of illegal military hardware, and join Matt and Tristan for 1987's classic space-slug goes to earth on a murder bender film, The Hidden. 

Fun Box Monster Podcast #112 Llamageddon (2015)

July 30, 2021

Llamageddon is just another bloated Hollywood blockbuster, relying on expensive flashy special effects and star power. When are we going to see Howie Doin come back to the small, quiet films that were a hallmark of his lauded early days? I miss the Howie who brought us the masterful tone poetry of Pinky's Sense of Llama. The sensuous heat of August Llama in Paris, or the gritty realism of Llama Driver. Sure this film will break a billion at the box office. But what about telling us the truth that is in his heart? I guess the system wins again. 

Join cinephiles Matt and Tristan as they explore the summers biggest film, 2015's Llamageddon.