Fun Box Monster Podcast

Fun Box Monster Podcast #167 RoboCroc (2013)

New Detroit has a cancer. That cancer is crime. When OCP Police officer Alex Murphy falls in with a group of super-science crocodiles, they convince him to don the mantle of RoboCroc to instill fear in the superstitious and cowardly lots of Detroit's famous crime alley. When his parents, also crocodiles for some reason, are shot by trophy hunters he retires to Florida to reconsider his life decisions. Or maybe it's just a by-the-numbers direct to Sci-Fi channel killer animal movie. Either way, join Matt and Tristan as they talk about it like it's a real movie and not just a long form ad for a Bulgarian Fun Park. 

Fun Box Monster Podcast #166 : Bloody Moon (1981)

Here I am again. Writing a description for a movie that was not exactly what I had hoped. Yes. I knew Jess Franco was involved. I had no idea that this would be like a two hour episode of Speed Racer with nudity and decapitations. That said...maybe you don't need to watch this one and you can just listen to the episode. 

Fun Box Monster Podcast #165 Silent Night Deadly Night 3 (1989)

What can you say about this movie that hasn't already been said. Nothing happens, and it is very, very boring. If you like really complainy podcasts that are super negative, this might just be your thing. So put on a novelty Jello mold hat, some acid smashed denim, and join Matt and Tristan as they complain for an hour about the biggest waste of Bill Mosley ever filmed, Silent Night Deadly Night 3. 

Fun Box Monster Podcast #164 Happy Birthday To Me (1981)

I don't know what to say about this movie. If there was a single moment of this thing that wasn't dedicated to incriminating some random character it might be a movie. But it is, instead, a collection of scenes of people doing bizarre and threatening things to prove that they are capable of murder, capped off with an ending that simply makes no sense. Somehow what should have been a by-the-numbers slasher is literally one of the most confusing movies I have ever seen.  So gas up your motorbike, put on your Isotoner murder gloves, and join Matt and Tristan as they stick their heads into the brain-surgery cyclotron that is, Happy Birthday to Me. 

 

 

Fun Box Monster Podcast #163 The Lamp AKA The Outing (1987)

I know we were all hoping for a movie about a haunted desk lamp, but stick with me. This is about an evil Djinn who, unlike The Wishmaster, doesn't care about puns or irony. Honestly it's kind of a relief. His murder spree is fully quip-free. His only real negative is that he's a five hundred pound pile of latex that needs to be carted around to chase our teens. 

Join Matt and Tristan as they discuss the movie that asks the question, what if Disney's Aladdin was full of boobs and the genie was a serial killer?

Fun Box Monster Podcast #162 The American Scream (1988)

Do you like movies with vexing edits, word-salad dialogue, and zero character motivations? Do you like your comedies to have scenes that Texas Chainsaw Massacre would have been too squeamish to include? Do you like your nudie movies tinged with infanticide? You are in luck. The American Scream is all this and so much more. Join Matt and Tristan as they don the inexplicable clown suit of film that is, The American Scream. 

Fun Box Monster Podcast #161 Warlock: The Armageddon 2 (1993)

When the Warlock comes to town, the magic is contagious! ...is the tagline I would have used if this was a production of Warlock The Armageddon on Ice. I was shot down multiple times, but if you have twenty-five million dollars and an ice rink, I have a great project for you. 

We all know the old story. Collect five gems, and the devil will arise and wreak havoc on earth. Basically the same plot as the old Bejeweled palm pilot game. Unlike most palm pilot games, this movie has peak hotness Julian Sands doing a baby impression, and melting down like a character from Street Trash more than once.  So Join Matt and Tristan as they talk for TWO FREAKING HOURS about the fun bit of nonsense known as, Warlock: The Armageddon. 

Fun Box Monster Podcast #160 Scanner Cop 2 (1995)

On a very special episode of Scanner Cop The Legendary Journeys, Scanner Cop reunites with his mother and has to confront his old friend Carl about a long ago dust up that threatens to uproot his budding romance with the head nurse of Scanner Hospital, Red Haired Lady who's name I can't remember. Also, just the plot of NBC's Heroes but with Scanners, and like fifteen years before Heroes. 

So join Matt and Tristan as they stare at each other for an hour until both their heads explode and also talk about a movie that was definitely called Scanner Cop 2. 

Fun Box Monster Podcast #159 Amityville 3-D (1983)

Just when you thought the Amityville movies couldn't fit any more D, here comes Amityville 3-D to rub your face in your despicable naivety. You know the story, but this time in addition to the extra D, this we get Meg Ryan and Aunt Becky wandering around, plus a sad divorced couple! If you think that's exciting, hold on to your seats for the plumbing issues in the upstairs bathroom sink. Also, a guy has a piano and doesn't play it. Just really great stuff. Join Matt and Tristan as they discuss the best(?) Amityville movie without a dollhouse, Amityville 3-D. 

Fun Box Monster Podcast #158 Amityville II The Possession (1982)

When the ickiest man in all of Long Island moves into everyone's favorite murder house with his family, he continues to be icky. When his horrible son shows up, he's horrible. The men of this family are so horrible and icky it's hard to see events unfolding any differently in a non-haunted house. But with the haunting it adds flies and some pretty sweet demon makeup which helps to make you forget about how gross everyone is. So join Matt and Tristan for a movie full of themes so unpleasant that any sane comedy podcast would probably skip over it and just do the 3-d one, Amityville 2: The Possession.