Fun Box Monster Podcast

Fun Box Monster Podcast #44 Children of the Night (1991)

This film is constructed like a Swiss digital watch that's linked to the Geneva laser grid. You think this is just another vampire movie? Think again! It's a vampire movie where the vampires sleep with their lungs outside their bodies. Why? Well...because. Breathing is...umm... Shut up. That's why. So put on your fruit hat, grab your golf club, and drive your crazy person Jesus van to join Matt and Tristan for 1991's Children of the Night. 

Fun Box Monster Podcast #43 Maximum Overdrive (1986)

Maximum Overdrive is the story of a huge semi-truck...full of cocaine that pulled up outside Stephen King's house. After snorting a metric ton of it, he wrote this nutso movie. And thank god he did. This is the movie that's so beautifully stupid that nobody else would have dared to make it. I wake up every day thanking my lucky stars that Stephen King hadn't hit rock bottom before he got to make this beautiful disaster. What do you get when you mix an armory full of weapons, a bunch of drunk Australians singing about doing it, a fleet of old trucks, 4 tons of cocaine, and 6 tons of plastic explosives? Magic. That's what. So strap on your Green Goblin head, your black market bazooka, and your best hitchhiking straight razor and get ready to join Matt and Tristan in the magical world of Maximum Overdrive. 

Fun Box Monster Podcast #42 Metamorphosis : The Alien Factor (1990)

Not sure what the name of this one refers to... I see the metamorphosis. That definitely happened. There were aliens I guess. But not sure what the factor was. They were making aliens, so maybe it was supposed to say "The Alien FACTORY". That makes some sense. Plus, it opens up great marketing opportunities. You could have a tie in with The Cheesecake Factory. "Metamorphosis : The Cheesecake Factory". Uggh. I just look at a Cheesecake Factory and I have a metamorphosis. Mondays right? Plus, trying on swimsuits? ACK! What was I talking about? Oh yeah. This movie. The monster definitely isn't a giant penis. Now I want cheesecake. Anyway, grab your favorite Boglin, hire a couple goons, and cozy up to the best movie to ever star a monster that is totally not a giant penis, Metamorphosis : The Alien Factor.  

Fun Box Monster Podcast #41 Deadly Spawn (1983)

Holy cow, guys. The Alien's deadly spawn sure does return in this one. When a meteor crashes on earth, a toothy phallus monster is unleashed. He kills 2 campers, then climbs into the basement window of suburban New Jersey home, where (she?) proceeds to spawn  a whole bunch of little wiggly, toothy, wang monsters. It proceeds to eat all of the residents one by one, until it's finally stopped by our resident Tommy Jarvis / monster kid character, who probably has a name, but I'll be damned if I can remember it. Or pretty much any other character name from this thing. Either way, this monster is cool and there's some really fun special effects stuff. So sit back, stuff your monster head full of flash powder, and enjoy the delicious hen-egg breakfast that is, Deadly Spawn. 

Fun Box Monster Podcast #40 The Dead Pit (1989)

After spending 20 years buried in a pit with his victims, a murderous, undead brain doctor is set loose. When an earthquake powerful enough to break the joint compound holding him prisoner sets off a chain of events including: Murder. Mayhem. Pantslessness. Occult sacrifices, and crop tops. All this and a hole in the ground full of dead mental patients who love to take people's brains out and play with them for reasons we are not privy to. So, put on your rubber gloves, your biggest ring, and your best bikini underwear and join Matt and Tristan as they dig deep into the touching family reunion story that is, The Dead Pit. 

Fun Box Monster Podcast #39 Stephen King's Silver Bullet (1985)

Silver Bullet is a harrowing tale of child neglect and endangerment in a town full of drunken gun-toting hicks, werewolves, and Gary Busey.  It all starts when a dangerous alcoholic named, "Red" builds a deadly motorized contraption for his nephew and then hands him a sack of illegal fireworks and no helmet. Then some stuff with a werewolf priest happens. Join Matt and Tristan as they shoot the eye out of the meddling little shit that is... Stephen King's Silver Bullet. 

 

 

 

 

Fun Box Monster Podcast #38 The Horror Show AKA House 3 (1989)

After the 110th murder committed by Meat Cleaver Max the police are finally ready to send him a stern warning. They send their bravest police officer, Detective Lucas McCarthy, and his disposable partner to the combination steel mill and diner where Max is holed up. Lucas arrests Max, but not before Max kills Lucas' partner and 3 other people, scarring Lucas for life. Looking for closure, Lucas goes to watch Max being executed in what looks like a racquetball court. As it happens, Max was prepared for this eventuality, and uses some sort of evil electricity to come back from the dead. Once he's back, he uses his evil powers to dress up as Lucas' wife, impersonate his lawyer, and become a turkey. Join Matt and Tristan as they grab their 2x4's and beat on the possessed furnace that is, The Horror Show. 

Fun Box Monster Podcast #37 Class of 1999 (1990)

If memory serves, this is film was a perfect time capsule of the way the world was in 1999. Like Stacy Keach, I too was wearing Halloween store novelty contact lenses and a white Rat-Tail/Mullet mashup haircut. Kids were going nuts for milk and bananas, and nearly my entire graduating class was murdered by malfunctioning robot teachers. So, put on your Pam Grier wig, take a hit of Edge, and join Matt, Tristan and returning guest Damian Maffei for the starkly realistic look at the Seattle educational system of twenty years ago that is Class of 1999. 

Fun Box Monster Podcast #36 Hello Mary Lou : Prom Night 2 (1987)

If you put Carrie, The Exorcist, Nightmare on Elm Street, and Degrassi Jr. High into a blender, the film smoothie that you'd pour out would look suspiciously like Prom Night 2. When Michael Ironsides accidentally kills his horrid, abusive girlfriend with a stink bomb, her soul gets trapped in a piece of luggage. Twenty-fiveish years later, a plain-Jane blonde girl named Vicky, with an abusive uptight religious mother (and father who is only there to repel any copyright claims from Stephen King), finds said soul-trunk and opens it, freeing fifties bad-girl/burn victim, Mary Lou. Mary Lou's ghost keeps swiping at poor Vicky and missing, like a monster in an Abbot and Costello film, until she finally drowns her in a chalkboard, taking over her body. Once she's in there, it's nothing but fifties style heavy-petting and prom preparations. Oh, also, murder. Will Vicky be spared? Will she get to keep her prom sash? Will the principal of this school face any consequences for shooting one of the children in front of an entire auditorium full of witnesses? Join Matt and Tristan as they walk nude through the Canadian locker room of 1987's Canuxploitation classic, Hello Mary Lou : Prom Night 2. 

Fun Box Monster Podcast #35 C.H.U.D. (1984)

When the sewers of New York start overflowing with nuclear mutant monsters, you can count on Kevin's dad from Home Alone and one of the Wet Bandits to beat them back. Is CHUD a ham-fisted environmental allegory? A throwback fifties sci-fi homage? Is it perhaps not the best movie to talk about on a podcast because it's all just super theatrical dialog? Maybe it's all of these!

You'll scream as a photographer turns down any opportunity to make money, and whines like a five year old when he's forced to do a couple of hours of actual photography. You'll despair when you hear the subplot about the girlfriend's pregnancy go nowhere! You'll cry when you hear the tight 45 seconds of CHUD jokes that Matt has prepared for the end of the episode! Be prepared for a rough journey, as Matt and Tristan embark on the late night poodle-walk that is, CHUD.